physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
His hands were made for my vagina.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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