Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
