I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
