So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize
