doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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