shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
You can tell a man will be prosperous by the power of his farts- A fart that can shake the room is a voice that can change the world.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
