So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize
