Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
How did they ever let a trainwreck like myself run a bar?!
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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