oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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