So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
