Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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