There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
