I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
Randomize
