Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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