And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Randomize
