I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
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