your room smells of hookers.
And success
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Randomize
