i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Randomize
