Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I'm pretty sure the Jahovah's witness only came to our door because the front says "Twerk Or Treat"
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
