Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
I accidentally told him I've been cheating on him with his brother last night.
How did that happen by accident?
I was drunk and vomited all over him and thought, "maybe he will just stay with me out of pity if I tell him with stomach acid and alcohol all over his crotch." I was wrong.
I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
