Michael Bay diarrhea
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
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