nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Randomize
