Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
before smithy murders me i need you to know 3 things. 1) i got with smithy's little sister last night. 2) i will always love you like my own brother. 3) smithy's little sis digs anal.
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
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