I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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