yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Be still, my beating vagina.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
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