my vag is so smooth its legendary
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
