Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
