Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Randomize
