i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
