Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
He walked into me masturbating to a framed picture of Bill Murray riding a t-rex
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
