i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
