I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Can Purell be used as lube?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
You started sleep walking, went to my closet, tried to pee on my boots, and when I asked you what you were doing you said "I'm talking to these people about jobs"
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
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