Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
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