I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
