Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Randomize
