I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
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