her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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