nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
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