im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
