Her vagina should come with caution tape.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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