Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
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