I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Houston, we have a blender
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
