We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
He's the first man I've met that knows more about Harry Potter than I do. He shops at Goodwill and has a Game of Thrones cookbook in his apartment. This is my soulmate.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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