So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
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