five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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