I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
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