you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
So I just went to clothing optional bar
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
