He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
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