Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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