i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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