Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
