Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
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